Fake it til you make it...

Fake it til you make it is my new motto for this portion of the trip.  I'm pulling myself together and trying to just meet Luke's every need.  He is still very tough.  He started the day at 5am and would not go back to sleep.  We had made plans to meet the other families at 9:30 and go to a local park.  He fell asleep on the cab ride there and then was super tired and lethargic.  We stayed for about an hour and then headed back to the hotel for a nap.  That consisted of him crying again for an hour and sleeping for an hour.  While he slept, Priscilla helped Abby with her grammar homework.  Attempting an online class from here has been quite the challenge.  The VPN to get past China's firewall is inconsistent and she can't stay awake late enough to get on her 10am EST class which is 10pm here and the recordings haven't worked well.... so essentially Priscilla has been teaching Abigail all about nominative predicates and linking verbs and diagramming sentences.... all the stuff I can't be bothered to remember. Thank God for Priscilla.... but seriously, we've decided she's the glue holding everything together.  So thankful for my dear friend whose willing to go to the other side of the world with me, who reminds me God is bigger and able and we can get through this one day at a time.  

He's so tired and most of the time is miserable.... he looks depressed.  It's so sad.

We attempted the pool again today and he was not having it.  We got him as far as the steps and he was refusing.  

We have still been having trouble getting him to drink.  We tried warm honey water again and he refused that.  We tried hot soymilk from breakfast and he refused that.  We tried plain water.  We tried some disgusting juice (we've seen the locals drinking it so it looks quite popular but it tasted like honey)  from the mini fridge in the hotel room, he drank a sip and that was it.   By this evening I was desperate to get some liquids in this kid.  We went to the store and bought Capri Sun Juice and gatorade.  He has refused the gatorade but did drink an entire capri sun juice pack.  So at least he will drink that.  He also likes those drinkable yogurts and he will eat watermelon all day.  So we stole some watermelon from breakfast and we are trying to get him to eat a lot of that.  

We tried ice cream with him and he did take a few bites before refusing anymore.

His report from his nannies says he sleeps ten hours at night and takes a four hour nap in the afternoon.  He is definitely not sleeping enough but don't know how to fix that now.  He is so shut down and quiet and like a blank shell right now.  It's probably a combination sleep deprivation and trauma.  So essentially, he's still a mess but I'm doing slightly better today.  I'm so thankful to all my spiritual sisters who emailed, messaged and reached out yesterday and today.  You guys are amazing and help me remember why I'm here and how this is completely normal stage of trauma.  I've been trained in this multiple times over and train other families in trauma but living it out all over again is so darn hard. 

He fell asleep on Abby tonight.